Friday, December 09, 2005

A New Pet Peeve

Besides BagManJimbo, liars, people who commit and cancel at the last second, namby pambies, bimbos, the Clintons, people who drive slow in the passing lane, liberals, hippies, pedophiles and crack heads, I have a new pet peeve.

I live in Wisconsin. I have for my entire life. I learned to drive in this state. Furthermore, every vehicle I learned to drive in was rear wheel drive sans ABS brakes and a traction control program (My favorite was the 1990 Chevy Caprice with a 305 V8 and RWD. We called it the "curb hopper."). Instead of ABS brakes, we pumped the brakes as not to lock them up. Instead of a traction control program, we put 200 lbs. of sand in sand bags at the rear of the vehicle. We also had regular tires, none of the fancy winter tires.

The point here is that I could drive just fine. No "dog walkin'," no "donuts" (or whippin' a shitty as some may call it), no slow starts, no excessive acceleration and burning of da' rubba. Why is it then that a middle aged man driving a Chrysler 300C with winter tires, ABS brakes, and a traction control program cannot make it through an intersection in under 1 minute? (for those here that don't know, a 300C is a V8 powered rear wheel drive car) Forgive me if I am wrong, but if you grew up and learned to drive in the sixties and seventies, most of the cars on the road were equipped like the one I learned to drive in. So why is it so friggin' difficult now?!?

Like riding a bike, you never forget. If you cannot comprehend this and wish to continue driving a car like that, stay home when it snows.


At 12:38 PM, Blogger Neo-Con Tastic said...

Check this blog out! Sue Wee!!!!
Wonderful writing, great beliefs... you get my drift.

At 7:20 PM, Blogger steven edward streight said...

My first car was a Chrysler 300. My dad gave it to me to help me get to work at Caterpillar. He was an engineer, an international laser expert, even worked on the "Star Wars" defense initiative. SDI I think they called it.

Anyway, that beauty was full of chrome and heavy as a tank. I ruined it by not keeping it full of tranny fluid. Dumb ass me. I was 18 years old.

My dad taught me to go to an empty school parking lot, late at night, during the winter, drive fast, slam on the brakes, and learn how to control a car out of control on a sheet of ice.

It worked.

After playfully slamming and sliding, I looked forward to slick icey streets. I had no fear and no reluctance. Face your fears, and teach them who's boss. Y'know?

So I also get annoyed at wimps who drive slow, dangerously slow, especially at intersections, like you say, just because there is snow, sleet, slush on the frozen road.

Too much caution can backfire.

I love love love Wisconsin. It's like heaven, especially in the winter. I like Antarctica, too. I don't relish being cold, I just don't fear it, and I know how to dress and how to drive in it.

At 1:37 PM, Blogger Dad29 said...

Steve, if you REALLY blew a Chrysler 300 tranny due to stupidity, you should NEVER be forgiven.

As to the morons--it was damn near hopeless on Thursday night--they were all over the roads, driving 25 MPH when 50 MPH was perfectly safe on I-94.

I think I'll start slashing tires to keep the riffraff off the roads.


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