Forever A Batchelor?

Okay, I went to a couple of bars on Water Street last night, and I think that the women I saw have reached a new all time low. Is that possible? Have they always been this bad and I never noticed until last night? Or is it me?

All very good questions, but I can assure you that it is not the latter.

Well, what were they doing? In case you have not been to Water Street lately, specifically Brothers on Water, I will be glad to fill you in (this is a family oriented blog, so I will sugar coat it just a tad). They are all trolops as one might say. Scantily clad women running around acting in a manner unbecoming of a young ladies.

In the past, I don't remember it anywhere near this bad. That just might be because I was in one too many drunken stupors, but I digress. I think that it is obvious the bar has been, well, lowered.

Well, DCS shall not partake. To those of you who may try to ridicule and reply "Well, don't go to Water Street!", I ask that instead you offer a suggestion. Outside of this, there is a strong chance that I will remain a batchelor forever.

'Nuf Said!

John Kerry, Please STFU!

While campaigning in Michigan for the governor's race, John Kerry announced that if he would have been president, "this wouldn't have happened." The "flip-flopper" actually believes that because of GW "has been so absent on diplomacy when it comes to issues affecting the Middle East... We're going to have a lot of ground to make up in (2008) because of it."

Uh huh, yeah. And if you would be president, gas prices would be $1/gal., Iraq and the whole Middle East would be peaceful, Kim Jong Il would resign from office and both China and North Korea would become democracies and sworn allies of the USA. Oh yeah, and the cost of health care in our country would hit the floor. Plus, there would be no more illegal immigrants. Actually, that last one is probably true, I wouldn't risk my neck to come here illegally if the "flip flopper" was running the USA.

Yeah, your "wife" is still nasty, John. You still have a horse face. Oh yeah, in case you missed it the first time, STFU already!

Freighter Sinking Outside of Alaska

Yeah. I know you heard about it. If not, here is a link. What really sucks is that the freighter, the Cougar Ace, was carrying 1400 Mazdas, all set to come to the Midwest and Gulf region states. So what? Some of those were for MY inventory, including the red hot selling Mazda 3. Looks like late September before I get more Mazda 3s, a vehicle that accounts for roughly 40% of our sales. If you want one, come get it now.

Lance Bass is Gay

Really? YOU are Gay? What? Gee, what a SHOCKER! Didn't see that one coming a mile away. Huh. Go figure. If you really would have gone to space, we would have had a gay man in space. In fact, you would have been the first gay man in orbit. Too bad that we can man a space shuttle that would make it to your favorite planet, Uranus.

Where Did We Park?

Oh yeah, it was on top of the Honda Accord.


Ten to one odds that it was a...... Ah, forget it.

The Racing Chorizo

Last night at the Brewer game, besides discussing the great pitching game of Ben Sheets, and the horrible job Dave Bush did in replacing him and losing us the game, we discussed the new Chorizo Racing sausage soon to join the Famous Klement's Racing Sausages. Apparently this is set to happen on Thursday. This brings a lot of good questions to the table.

Is this a marketing ploy, or is it just a way to pander to the Mexican fans and people?

I am not sure how I feel about this yet. Every part of me tells me that this is just some sort of stunt designed to pander in order to appear more pc. Or, maybe some lefty CEO up there in the ranks of Klement's feels bad about his so called racist company. But then again, the Mexican culture is a big part of our country and the game of baseball. They are also a pretty big buying demographic and a chunk of the sausage market too.

What do you think? I will tell you my real opinions and my made up mind after I see the Chorizo race on Friday night.


Get Ready, Get Set.... For more competition!

Separated At Birth?

I have always thought these two looked real similar.




What do YOU think?

I Hate Maureen Dowd

I really could just leave that title of the post up there alone and everyone with two shreds of common sense would get. But, there is sooooo much more to it. MUCH more.

Okay. After two hours of painful self surgery, I was able to remove the ball point pen I involuntarily shoved 3 inches into my temple after reading her editorial in the Urinal Sentinel today(originally written for the NY Slimes on 07.19.06*).

Where to begin?

1. Maureen, you are incredibly childish. Your finger pointing and name calling brings you down to the level of some five year olds I have witnessed. Oh, he said it! He said the word shit! Give me a break. What, the leader of the free world can't swear? He was having a very quiet conversation with British Prime Minister Tony Blair, not screaming profanities across the room like a belligerent drunk.

"The president has enshrined his immaturity and insularity, turning every environment he inhabits..." "...into a comfortable frat house." You know, you have an obsession with this "frat boy" name calling thing. I am starting to think that maybe you were that ugly chick in college. You know what I am talking about. The one so that is soooo ugly that a 12 pack of Miller Lite and half a bottle of Jagermeister drank inside of two hours still didn't make you attractive. No one would let in the frat house in the first place. Did I strike the head of the nail? Or maybe you were like one of the nerds in that movie "Revenge of the Nerds." Except the only revenge you are attempting to get is now, and it's against the President. See, I can call people names too. Maybe I should apply for your job.

2. "Even after the debacles of Iraq and Hurricane Katrina..." Are you still trying to pin Hurricane Katrina on him? Wow. So, Mayor Ray Nagin and Gov. Kathy Blanco had nothing to do with it. You know, not evacuating people and sending out "rescue buses" in time. Or how about Slick Willie? You know, X42. The one who ignored reports and didn't provide the Army Corps of Engineers with enough dough to "plug the holes." I could go on with this issue. You really are reaching.

3. "The world may be blowing up..." "...but that pales in comparison with his burning desire to return to his feather pillow and gym at the White House." The man doesn't really get much of a day to himself ever. He can't have a night off? And what business is it of yours if he does. Where were you when X42 was getting a bj in the oval office? Were you questioning his "free time?" No, I think you were blowing Hill. Sod off.

4. I highly doubt Tony Blair is treated by Bush like his "servant." You really are pathetic to even suggest that.

5. "He seems to have no clue that his own headlong, heedless actions in the Middle East have contributed to the deepening chaos there..." Oh yeah, sure. That part of the world has ALWAYS been stable. There was never any turmoil there. Saddam was a good little dictator who never "poured gasoline" on the proverbial fire. The Iranians only started developing nuclear power because we intervened in Iraq. The Holy Wars never occurred. Puhlease!

I did leave a bunch of your dribble out of this post, I realize that. I just don't have the time to pick apart everyone of your inane statements.

In closing Maureen, please do everyone a favor and STFU!

'Nuf Said!



*Note from Management - I cannot link this particular article onto my page as it is not available on the Urinal Sentinel's website and I do not wish to "login" to the NY Slimes website.

Potawatomi Bing Casino to Hold $50k Rock Scissors Paper Tourney

Finally, something I have a chance at winning. On July 29th, Potawatomi will be hosting a Rock Scissors Paper tournament with a total pot winnings of $50k. First place takes home $14k. In order to qualify for entry, one must be a Fire Keepers Club member and redeem points to gain ballots for entry. This would be an interesting possibility. Do you think I have what it takes to take down Granny?

The Return of the Prostitot!

Bloggers everywhere are discussing it(actually, two). The glorious return of the heated discussions revolving around... you guessed it, the Prostitot! If you aren't familiar with the term, you can view my archived post from Aug. '05 here. I initially started talking about this dangerous epidemic in this post, which didn't receive a whole lot of attention. Now, bloggers like Charlie and Cantankerous bring this glorious topic to the surface once again.

Now, Charlie discusses mainly women in their 20s who choose to dress like "skanks." I reach a crossroads on this particular topic, but eventually find my way to the right conclusion. Although in some cases it is pleasing to the eye (I am a man), it gives women an inflated ego in the end. You do not look that good, especially if the shirt is two sizes too small and foreign matter is hanging out. 'Nuf Said!

Cantankerous, on the other hand, chooses to discuss men who are assholes. While she does agree with Charlie that "skanks" need to clean up their acts, she addresses the much more deprived topic involving men who are assholes. There are a lot of them, of all ages, who are unjustified in their actions. You are not that cool, I completely agree. (For those audience members here that may know me on a personal level, yes, I know that I am being somewhat contradicting here. Yes, I can be an asshole, but it is usually justified.)

What can we do? Expose them. Like I had initially called for in Aug. '05 with the emerging prostitot crowd, it is important that we apply the same rule to both culprits. I will be glad to spearhead this effort in the most tactful manner possible.

!UPDATE! Dad29 gets in on the act too. Although there is no plug on where he picked up some of his terminology...

Perceived Value of Hybrid Vehicles Falling *GASP*

Wow. I didn't see this one coming from a mile away. Last month AutoExtremist.com surveyed roughly 1200 automotive industry professionals, myself included, and recently posted their findings on their site. Shockingly enough, the perceived value of hybrids has gone down.

And you know what? I am glad. A short term solution attached to an unproven technology has sent fuel saving alternative technology in different directions. Hybrid technology has a lot of potential, but will not be a solution for most likely two decades. First, manufacturers need to find a way to reveal "truth in MPG ratings." In addition, they also need to develop a way to provide for better performance for real world driving situations. Finally, they need to control their dealers. I have been told that $2k, $3k, $4k and in some case $5k over listed MSRP are acceptable ADMs (or additional dealer markups for you rookies out there).

I, for one, am still on the diesel bus. I always have been. Any engine that provides real world performance and 49 MPG while having the ability to run on completely renewable clean resources is a home run in my book.

Knowing this, why is Ethanol still in the works? Calm down, don't think about it too much, your head will explode.

How Deep Can We Bury 'Em?

This seems to be the question that DaimlerChrysler execs are asking themselves as they heap back into employee pricing and 0% financing. Although I like the financing program as an incentive to consumers, offering the employee pricing and huge rebates is a bad move.

Why, you ask? Well it's simple really. Typically, domestic buyers stay in the domestic family, i.e., they buy domestic cars. But, when you offer deep discounts, you bury your customer in the loan so bad that no length of rope can pull them out. Simply put, DamChry is DESTROYING their used market by pushing more and more product into the market. Currently, a bank will finance you in a new auto loan up to 130% of the car's list.

The question is, how much farther will that bank have to go to dig the customer out in the future? 140%? 150%?

I am glad I don't drive a Dodge.

Drinking Right Last Night

It was nice to see Casper and Cantakerous from AskMeLater out. Couple of good drinks and some convo about the goings on was just what the doctor ordered. It was also nice to meet "The Producer." Next month, I am thinking it should be in Waukesha. I vote for Panos' Charhouse on Bluemound in Brookfield. I would be glad to help organize and see if we can't lure some of the Madison crowd. Thoughts? You know where....